Emotional Constipation

A man should not cry. I was raised with the mindset that a man must be tough and wall off his feelings. A man should not have to be vulnerable. A man must be a man! Or have you not heard? Women are the weaker vessels. Those emotional beings are always expressive, willing to bare their souls.

Over time, we have raised men who cannot express themselves because society has labeled it inappropriate. Some drown in the new abnormal due to family expectations and upbringing.

Males typically form a higher percentage of emotionally constipated people. However, anyone could be suffering this and needs to do something to change it. Constipation in itself is a symptom of a problem. Adding the definer “emotional” makes it more alarming.

By selecting what to feel and what to bury, you either become monoemotional or numb to situations.

How To Treat Emotional Constipation:

Permit yourself to feel

Previously, I assumed people only masked negative and “shameful” emotions such as anger, grief, hurt, anxiety, depression. Quite recently, I realized that is untrue. People also hold back positive emotions like love, joy.

Emotional intelligence involves understanding one’s moods (correctly identifying/naming the emotions felt) yet allowing time to process corresponding actions. This lifestyle is healthy, helps to build interpersonal relationships, and defuse conflict. 

In contrast, emotional constipation is a deliberate denial of one’s emotions. Emotional constipation is unhealthy because unprocessed emotions build up and cause stress.

Do you have physical symptoms in response to your emotions? It could be headaches, pain in the chest or stomach, etc. Managing these symptoms may require drugs but talking to someone is irreplaceable in the treatment plan.

Encourage people around you to communicate their feelings

Parents should stop telling their boys that boys don’t cry. Married people should not rationalize away what their spouse is feeling. Engage with people without judgment. Pick up on emotional cues. All of that makes people feel safe around you and willing to share readily.