Am I A Mistake?

“Go to hell!” she yelled, “I’m done with all this crap.”

I could hear her crying from my room. It was routine in this neighborhood to witness fights or cross over broken bottles and other weaponry on the way to one’s room.

“Fuck you, Tesla!”

“The problem with you is that you think you are better than the rest of us. You will come back begging,” Thor said.

I opened my door slightly. Just enough to peep. I knew she was heading out, and I wanted us to talk.

“Who the fuck you staring at?” Tesla asked as she dragged her raggedy knapsack with clothes in her hands.

I grabbed my shorts and dashed out to meet her. I had always wanted to chat with her, but the timing was never right.

She looked at me in disgust and said, “speak or get out of my way!”

“Tesla, I…”

“What?”

“Do you think I deserve your attention for 5 minutes?” I asked, quite unsure if my speaking up was a miracle or sheer guts.

I was standing before Tesla, the baddest chic in the neighborhood. No robbery goes leftward when Tes is involved. Every mission with her is as good as done. The guys all wanted her. She belonged to no one, though Thor somehow had a grip over her as he was the one who found her in an uncompleted building at the age of 8. He raised her his way since then.

Trigger opened Thor’s room door, and we assume he went back to inform him that she was still around. We could hear Thor mocking copiously.

“Are you gonna talk or what?” Tes faced me.

“Please come into my room. Please”

She was a smart lady. It was easy to tell I meant no harm. Grudgingly, she followed me inside.

“I’m Eva,” I stated. It was common to refer to me as Tequila in the hood. It was Thor who first called me that before it stuck. I was the errand girl, the washer, the cook, the buyer, the cleaner, the everything girl.

“I’ve been trying to leave too.”

Her eyes widened. “If you’ve been planning to leave,” she asked, “Then what are you still doing here?”

“I was afraid. I thought of a lot of things. Thor could kill me as he did other backlinks who left. But I can’t help thinking, what if there is another kind of life possible for me? What if I was to be more than a maid? I should do something different, crazy if need be, and see where I end up.”

“So… when are you disappearing?”

“Tes, now. I’m going with you.”

She stood up, slapped the hair off her face, and carried her bag. I held her hand.

“Do I look like a mother hen to you?”

“No, Tesla”

“Good. So get out of my way and don’t expect me to protect you when Thor comes for you.”

“I have a plan…”

“A plan…? Do you hear how dumb you sound?” Her voice adopted a no-nonsense tone. “Keep me out of it.”

“Tesla, I know someone that could help us.”

Rolling her eyes, “And who might that be?”

“Let’s go!”

We left the yard. I did not carry any change of clothes or bag. I strolled out right behind her to make it seem like a regular outing. Thor was so sure Tesla would return, which is why he let her leave. A girl that lived with him for over twenty years sure had nowhere to go.

Eventually, I caught up with her. We rode in a cab for about thirty minutes. She was upset. I was only the available recipient of the built-up anger and frustrations she had from life. I admired her strength from a distance. She was the kind of sister I wish I had. A lady who stops at nothing to get a goal.

We exchanged a few words with the driver when we arrived. It was necessary. He thought he could make his whole life savings from this one trip. Then, we trekked a few meters down to the house.

I met Mama B one day at the gas station. She separated the fight between an attendant and me. I lied that I paid him first before he put the fuel in the container. He refused to fall for my cheap plot. So, I slapped him and inaugurated a fight.

She came over, paid for me, and gave me her mobile number. We talked the next evening over the phone, and we talked more after that. She was an angel sent to me. She shared her address and told me to ask for Mama B whenever I got there.

Their area seemed coordinated. The first person I met for directions took us to her gate. I called her phone. She asked the gatehouse to let us in. Then, she came to meet us.

Her hug felt different. It was warm, friendly, safe. I introduced Tesla to her then we went in. I did not understand how someone would let two unmannered girls in her home. Food was ready in time for us to scoff.

She had her way of breaking down walls in communication. Tesla and I narrated our stories from childhood to the present. I listened to Tes keenly. Beneath that tough exterior was a damaged and broken girl.

Our stories were different, yet we had the same question. We both wondered why our lives lacked any meaning, and we lived by whatever people handed us.

Mama B told us something I have been unable to forget.

She asked, “Have you ever seen an accident scene?”

We answered “Yes.”

She went, “Did it look nice?”

“No, definitely not. Looks a hot mess,” Tesla replied.

“Good”

“You are a whole human. You breathe, think, move, and have a personality. All of your individuality, including your monthly cycles, prove there is an established dynamic equilibrium in place. Everything is controlled to an exact degree to help you function. Your brain is perfectly wired. For someone undergoing neurosurgery, the slightest error could cause loss of memory or inability to talk well or move, depending on where the mistake affected.”

Getting off the dining table and reaching to the refrigerator, she continued, “do you think you mistakenly dropped on earth with all of that intricacies?”

Tes and I were silent. We began to see that we were not slips and blunders of nature. We were thoughtfully crafted and for a greater purpose.