How To Glow Up After A Breakup

Regardless of who is involved, a trash heap of XY, or double X chromosomes, there is no denying the fact that doing well post-breakup is a desired life upgrade.

When people break up, it rattles them. Everything becomes chaotic unless they were not emotionally invested in that relationship. It becomes difficult to focus on who the person was, who their partner was, and what exactly was real in the relationship. There is a vast sphere of mess one has to wade through to come out with a new identity.

“In over twenty years of private practice, I’ve seen people of every age and background face every manner of heartbreak. And what I’ve learned is this; when your heart is broken, the same instincts you ordinarily rely on time and again, lead you down the wrong path. You simply cannot trust what your mind is telling you”- Guy Winch, a Psychologist, keynote speaker, and author.

The feeling of loneliness and disappointment is destructive. Yet, it is extremely challenging to wean off and move on.

“He’s my first thought as I wake up, and my last as I close my eyes. You said move on, but where do I go?” bawled Emem, my classmate, after ending a four-year-old abusive relationship.

“What is it about me that allows the girls to make my life miserable?” asked John, another colleague who lost his fiancée to her male best friend.

Here are TEN ways you can glow up after a breakup;

1. Detox from the fun memories. It would minimize your suffering until the hurt is completely gone.
2. Train your mind to quit focusing on how they wronged you and why you can never forgive them. Show up for yourself and choose you. Forgive for your sanity’s sake.
3. Were you cheated on? Betrayed after several second chances? Know that you deserve to be chosen undoubtedly over and over again, not merely considered or discarded.
4. If there was never closure, decide to care less. Permit yourself to move on. Stop doubting your worth and efforts.
5. Take time off emotional attachments – being in relationships, rebounds, or situationships. It is better to be single than taken for granted. Talk to family or any healthy support system you have when you need to express your feelings.
6. Find yourself. Nurture your happy place. “You look so much happier” is the best compliment you could have post-breakup. Be better, happier, and freer. Did I mention happier?
7. Redirect the negative energy into something productive for you. Register in a gym, pick up the hobbies you neglected, visit fun places, write a book, change your hair color or style, be dedicated to your skincare routine, and eat healthily. Whatever brings back the spark in your eyes, keep at it.
8. Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time. It is okay to think you have moved on and suddenly realize the wound opening back up. Know that the pain one day would be gone.
9. Therapy is a great idea. Mostly for people who exit long term relationships and marriages, relationship therapy is a beneficial way to share those problems and get help from a professional. The notion that people who go to therapy are crazy is false.
10. Know that you can find love again. Remove the bars from your mind and be approachable. Accept the love that will most likely show up and drop comparisons with your past. Use the lessons you learned to be the best version of yourself.